The Pareto principle (also known as the 80-20 rule, the law of the vital few, and the principle of factor sparsity) states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.
I find this to be very true in ministry. 80% of the work I do seems to yield very little of the fruit, and vise versa. I seem to be in a constant struggle to balance the stuff I do that just has to be done as a professional WITH the stuff I do that has clear spiritual impact. Each week I feel like a dump truck backs up and dumps a load of work on me. Most of this work when it's complete has no visible spiritual connection to it. I have to take time to look at the fruit, and then distinguish what is most important. I have to identify what is the work that I do that yields the most fruit, and then I need to try to do that stuff more than 20% of the time.
Prayer, reflection, and evaluation of youth ministry over the past 15+ years always bring me back to one thing. It's all about relationships (good Godly, Christ-centered relationships). Jesus' ministry began with relationships, was defined by relationships, and spread through out the world through relationships. As I spend more time with youth in the places where they are comfortable (school lunches, the skate park, their homes, etc) I see more spiritual transformation in the youth, an anchoring of their faith through conversations and experiences we share together. The outcome of this realization is that I might have a typo or two and an awful font choice in my publications. Or maybe I spend an hour less on my lesson preparation in order to spend an hour more at a school lunch. There are moments when I've seen greater ministry at a fast food joint than has ever happened in the youth room.
Presently, my very first group of youth group graduates are post college, married, and beginning their families. I can tell you next to none of them remember my lessons, but most remember a conversation we had about an issue they were struggling with, or how much they began to enjoy church because of a trip or crazy event. It is a great privilege to tell you that I enjoy very close relationships with dozens of former students, and because of relationships my ability to minister and speak God's truth into their lives has extended beyond high school graduation and into their adult lives. May God allow that to continue, so I can say this about our most recent class of Christ Church HS seniors.
Another part of my prayer, reflection, and evaluation of youth ministry has taught me that is that although I may not be the primary spiritual adviser to parents, God has also entrusted them to me. When I first started youth ministry, the parents in my ministry were (at best) to be avoided and (at worst) a hurdle to get over. Looking back this was MY issue. I was 23 and intimidated by adults. My actions showed that I did not fully trust in the calling God had placed on my heart. God has taught me that my ministry must include parents and I must never avoid them. Like students, my ministry with parents has to be about relationships. Very soon, I will be the same age as some of the parents bringing their students into the youth program, and it won't be long until I'm older than the parents of my students. My age has made it more comfortable to build relationships with parents. Just like my ministry with students, I will let a detail drop off of my office work list if it means spending time with a parent and talking with them about their student(s). I will run a less technically savvy youth group if I can use that time instead to play pool with a father of a teen. I will not update this blog if it means having dinner at a family's home.
20% of my work yields 80% of the fruit. Building and sustaining good Godly relationships have consistently brought forth the most spiritual transformation (for me) in youth ministry, and I need to do more of it. It's all about relationships. It's all about relationships. It's all about relationships.
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