Being a jerk at church

We had a great moment at youth group this week. It was spring break so only a handful of youth were there, but any student that missed this evening missed something special. Brain Dennison called me and told me of a concert at St. Johns Baptist church.

Brian Dennison, Mary Jane Dennison (holding her 6^th month old) Eliza Hallock, Kate Paul, Matthew Robertson, Heather Phillips, & I went in and found a seat on one of the back rows. We were the only white folks in the room of a few hundred black people. The concert was scheduled to start at 6:00pm but at 6:30 they did not even seem close to starting. Know some stereotypes of Black churches I joked that starting on time doesn’t matter so much when you have no plan for an ending time.

They did start around 6:45, and we were a bit shocked. The MC stared out announcing the first act would be from their mime ministry. Mime ministry? In a black church? It was a bit odd, but cool.

The second act kicked off with a bang. And they never stopped. They had drums, two pianos, an organ, a trumpet player, bass player, guitarist, etc. It was a great evening. It was loud, it was fun, and it was real worship. The easiest way to describe it was to think about the church scene in Blue Brothers (minus John Belushi doing hand springs and back flips).

They had a handful of cameras and two projector screens at the front of the church. During the first song the camera showed a picture of Heather and she got so nervous she could not help but laugh. Most of the room was standing, and clapping, and swaying. I, in comparison, was sitting quietly and would have looked bored had the camera saw me. I was VERY aware of the camera, and would try to sway and smile when it looked like it was pointing near me. I, thank God, never made it on camera.

A woman began to sing a solo with the choir accompanying her. She began singing her song and it was beautiful. Then she decided that the song needed her to hit somewhere in the range of 200 different octaves every five seconds. Everytime she hit a high note, everybody would start screaming and clapping. I, like a good sheep, also clapped even though I am still not sure if I enjoyed it. I could only think about how Simon Cowl would make fun of her if she tries out for American Idol. He would say, (thick British accent) “Honestly dear, do you think that was any good? It was all a bit over the top for me”. Then Paula would tell her how she liked her dress and how pretty she was. Randy would call her "Dogg" and mention something about her pitch being off.

Matthew Robertson teased Brian for clapping on the 2 and 4 count rather than the 1 and 3 count. Brain defended that he likes the 2 and 4 better. I nodded in agreement with whoever was talking at the time. I have no idea which count I was clapping on. I do know however I was clapping on the wrong ones. I finally decided to stare intently on the hands of a very flamboyant woman in the choir and I was mimicking her claps. Unfortunately she got bit excited and began to do a single clap and then a double clap, and never informed me when she would be do a single or a double. So I looked like Steve Martin, from the Jerk, clapping, stomping, and singing the wrong things.

Speaking of sining the wrong things… There was a song where the lead singer would sing “Protect”, and we would sing back to him “Protect”. Then he would sing something else, and we sing None but my Jesus”. We sung and yelled “Protect” and “none but my Jesus” for a while and then the song changed a bit and I could not understand the words. They sang for about 10 minutes with him singing something and the crowd answering something that sounds like “My Car Keys”. I was enjoying singing and it was loud so I just sang along “My car keys” hoping nobody could hear me.

We left at 7:30. They were just getting started, but we had to pick up my children up and the youth had to head home. It was a great night of fellowship, fun, great music, and true worship of Jesus Christ. If you missed it, you missed a very special night.