My Bottom 10 most NONfavorite movies

There are good movies, bad movies, and movies I don't care about, but there a 4th catagory of movies "movies that make me angry".  With these movies it's personal.  These movies have made me feel abused, taken advantage of, attacked and wounded.  These movies are my nemesis.

#10  Hope Floats (1998)

My first official date with my wife was to watch this horrible movie.  As a gentleman I allowed my date to choose this movie.  Heather made the first of 13 years of horrendous movie choices.  Thank God the date was better than the movie.

#9   Lost in Translation (2003)

This steaming cow-turd of a movie would typically fall under the category of "movies I don't care about", but I had to hear from every critic, talk-show, and 24-7 of the "E" network telling me how amazing this movie was.  This movie was slow, boring, and really nothing happened.  I was happy to hear that Bill Murray won a few awards, but I would rather watch a re-run of "Groudhog's day".  

#8   Batman and Robin (1997)

This movie was clearly the worst Batman movie ever.  The main problem with this movie was that there were too many new characters: Dr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, Bane, Robin, Batgirl, etc.  Personally, My main issue with this movie was that I drove to the movie theater 6 hours before the show and waited in line for an hour to buy these stupid tickets.  This was hyped to be a great movie.  The nipples on Clooney's Batman costume also creeped me out a bit.

#7   The Bad News Bears (2005)

I loved the Walter Matthau classic back in 1976, so I was pumped that Billy Bob Thorton was going to reprise the role.  Josh Bell and I went to see the movie on opening night.  I remember talking with Josh for hours afterwards just trying to make sense of the movie.  Clearly things were cut out that were part of the story, and characters would change and become better people with no motivation for doing so.  Even writing this makes me angry.  I'm not gonna think about this movie anymore!  

#6   40 days (2002)

This movie is about a guy who vows to stay celibate during the 40 days of Lent.  Then he finds the girl of his dreams and is tortured by being unable to sleep with her.  OK, first off I have to admit I've never seen this movie.  I did not see it because I am not an idiot.  This movie infuriates me on 3 major levels.  #1 Giving up a sex for lent just so you can go back to doing tit after lent is first off dumb and second it has no connection to God, lent, or rational thought.  #2 It is so frustrating that we keep perpetuating the consept that primiscous sex is beautiful, romantic, and appriopriate (especially with someone you've only dated for a month).  #3 I hate the idea that all guys are lunitics who want sex 100% of the time when it obvious that it is more like 78%.   

#5   Mrs Doubtfire (1993)

OK this was a decent movie, but I was really disturbed by one aspect of this movie.  A man (Robin Williams) and a woman (Sally Fields) get a divorce, and Robin wants to see his kids.  He tells his ex that he want to watch the kid while she is at work.  Sally's character tells Robin's character that it would be bad for the kids to be with him, so instead she hires a nanny.  BUT HE WAS A GOOD DAD! She even admitted it.  WHAT A expletive deleted.  I have irrationally never forgiven Sally Fields for that, and to this day I refuse to watch a movie with her in it.

#4   Ocean's Twelve (2004)

Ocean's 11 is my favorite hiest movies.  Oceans 12 was not as good, but one thing struck me with rage.  The heist only worked because at one point Julia Roberts' charcter impersionated (that's right) Julia Roberts.  Are you kidding me?  I expect a bit like that in spy kids, but this is Oceans 12.

#3   The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

The first Matrix changed everything.  It changed movie special effects forever.  It changed how I look at the Christain's relationship with the world.  It changed everything for me.  Then the Matrix Reloaded came out.  The Matrix reloaded is to the Matrix, what bird poop is to a 1970 GTO.

#2   Pearl Harbor (2001)

This movie was a classic bait and switch.  Was it a movie about history? No!  Was is a war movie? No!  It was a crappy chick flick.  It was about love, crying, being sensitive, romance, hand holding, (oh yea) and a few planes attacked a military base at the end. 

#1   Twilight (2008)

Don't get me started here.  I can't get past the fact that the hero really wanted to bite the leading lady.  I can't get past the grey, depressing, misreable setting.  I can't get past the the whinny, depressed, weepy, leading man.                                       What I really can't get past is this.  I am 37 years old.  If I looked young would it be ok for me to date a 17 year old?  The answer is "heck no, that's sick".  Exactly!  Twilight is a story of a romance between a 200 year old pediphile and a teenage girl.  

James has no major issue with criminals

I dropped my two oldest sons off at camp today.  While I sat and filled out paperwork both boys were required to go through a few physical test.  Once done a woman who helped with the tests brought the boys to where I was sitting.  She told me of a conversation she had just had with James (my 7 year old).

Woman:    Well James you seem like a very nice boy
James:    I am a very nice boy, that's why I have lots of friends.  None of my friends are criminals, but if I met a criminal I would probably be nice to him too.

Nothing gets between me and my toys

Today we had a joint yard-sale with 4 families; the Lynchs, the Pages, the Lavenders, and the Bringmans.  A little 6-year-old girl was looking through some of the toys we were selling.  She had a toy in her hands that used to belong to James.  When James saw her eyeing the toy he quickly and quietly walked towards her.  As he past her, without out looking her in the eyes, he gently took the toy from her.  She could hear him as he walked past her say, in a matter of fact tone, "Sorry that's mine".  Without looking back he walked into the house with the toy and shut the door.

2 gifts, a french guy, and a cross.

I wrote this nearly three weeks ago.  I'm not really sure why I haven't posted it sooner.


Nathan Bistis called me on Friday and asked if I could fill in and do the children's homily for him this week.  I thought it might be nice to teach one last time in front of the entire congregation.  It would be a nice conclusion to the end of a 6 year tenure at Christ Church.  I checked The Book of Common Prayer and saw that one of the verses in the gospel reading was John 14:6.  What a great verse to be my last teaching moment with the children.


Today I am gonna tell you two true stories.  
There once was a man named Frederic Bartholdi.  Fredrick decided to give a gift to America.  Who knows what Fredrick gave to America?
Kids: "The Statue of Liberty!"
For a long time, when you became a citizen of America you would have to ride a boat past Ellis Island and past the Statue of Liberty.


The second story is about God.
I am oversimplifying here but...God wanted to give the people of Earth a gift, and he gave the gift of his son, Jesus.  There is only one way to become a citizen of Heaven and spend eternity with God, and that is to go by the cross of Jesus.


You may hear of a bunch of different ways you can get to heaven...

• Be a good person
• Do more good than bad
• Get baptized
• Go to church

...but there is only one way to get to heaven, and that is by believing in Christ and committing your life to him.


Just like in order to become a citizen of America (so many years ago) you must go by the Statue of Liberty, in order to become a citizen of Heaven you must go by the way of the cross of Christ.

John 14:6 (New International Version)

⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Where We Are Heading...

Since March I have spent a great deal of time contemplating what would be the next step for my family.  My thoughts had me heading to serve as a youth director elsewhere,  or staying in Savannah and going to seminary in Jacksonville.  But God always goes before me and lays the path He intends for me to take.

This path happens to include seminary, but also a move back to my home town of N. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  In the fall I plan to attend Gordon Conwell Seminary and work towards a Masters degree in Divinity.

A handful of people have asked, "Is there any way we can help your family?" Yes, there are ways to help us.

1- Prayer!  We would love to be covered in this time of transition.  And I will need your prayers to get through all of the reading I have to do during seminary!

2- We need help moving.  We will be loading up the truck Thursday, June 30th.  The pizza is on me, and if you are over 21 who knows what else might be floating around.

3- If you feel so lead, you can help my family be contributing to my seminary education.   It will cost  approximently $3,000 per semester between tuition, books, and travel expenses to the campus in Charlotte.  I have in the last year paid off my student loans, and I would love to complete seminary without picking up new student loan debt.  In the past, churches have been able to support seminary students by allowing contributions to go through their budgets, but due to IRS regulations now churches can lose tax exempt status by continuing this practice.  If you are interested in supporting me during my time in seminary you can send any checks to the address below.  Also, I will be sending out monthly e-mail blasts in addition to this blog here to keep people informed of how things with the Phillips' are going, and how you can pray for us.  If you are interested to be on that list, please let me know.    
Joey Phillips
705 33rd Ave S.
North Myrtle Beach, SC 29582

We love you all, and we are blessed and grateful to have served alongside you in God's ministry in Savannah for these last years.  We will continue to pray for the church and those we love, as we hope you pray for us.


Psalm 103: 1-5 reads...


Praise the LORD, my soul; 
   all my inmost being, praise his holy name. 
 Praise the LORD, my soul, 
   and forget not all his benefits— 
 who forgives all your sins 
   and heals all your diseases, 
 who redeems your life from the pit 
   and crowns you with love and compassion, 
 who satisfies your desires with good things 
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

If I made this look too easy...I'm sorry

 I recently left Christ Church where I served as the youth pastor for the past 6 years.  I believe one of my major responsibilities as an outgoing staff member of a church must be to protect the church.  It would have been really easy during my time of transitioning out of Christ Church to cause a lot of strife, but I believe that by consciously protecting the church relationships are saved, youth remain in a Christian body, people trust the leadership, people don't start looking for a new church, and youth don't walk away from church altogether.  I believe my attitude and actions during my time of leaving can directly effect people's relationship with Christ and with the church.

Since early March, when I knew I would be leaving, I have been working extremely hard to walk away with integrity, honor, and without complaining.  The problem I am having now is that I think I succeeded, and in the process maybe I made it look to easy.

I need my Christ Church friends to know two things:
The last few months have been very painful for me and my family.  We've shed a few tears over this.  I attempted to leave with integrity, but I think what I really did was climb under a rock.  I think I made it look simple and painless.  I am sorry for not being open about my feelings.

I don't agree with the decision.  I have weaknesses, but I have painstakingly (and successfully I might add) worked to shrink the weaknesses I have.  I am a more effective minister now than I was 6 years ago.  I truly believe that any small weaknesses I have are far outweighed by the success and fruit of the youth program.  I feel like I was forced to close a book in the middle of the chapter.

Please know that I write this because I have been haunted by the thought that I made this look too easy and  that it looked like I was happy with the decision.  I do not have any sour-grapes, nor do I mean any disrespect.  I care for deeply for the leadership at Christ Church, and I believe Christ Church has the desire and the heart to continue to minister effectively to youth.  I will miss you all.

If you need any more info facebook me, email me, or give me a call.

Peace
Joey

My life in Video Games

I had lunch today with an old friend (and former youth member) and his wife, Andrew and Brittany Davidson.  During our conversation Andrew and I talked about how video games have been such a part of our lives.  First off we both struggle with being competitive during games with our wives.  Heather complains about my competitive steak quite often.  If I was playing Madden football with Heather and I was winning 77-3 with 25 seconds on the clock.  I would first go for two and then try an onside kick.  Heather will not play video games with me anymore.

Andrew and my conversation went back to our game of choice, WWE Wrestling.  There was 4 of us who played this game all the time: me, Andrew Davidson, Josh Bell, and Chris Mattson.  But as competitive as we all were, none of us ever tried to win.  It was a game that went on for hours (and hours) with the goal of all four of us: to be the most aggravating.  Andrew's style of play was to use a simple kick to the stomach which for some reason could not be blocked.  I remember his character kicking Chris' character for a solid ten minutes and Chris unable to do anything about it (this might be where the name "Angry Chris" began).  Chris' style was to simply stand outside of the wrestling ring and wait for two characters to start fighting.  Once two of us were in the middle of a move he would grab a chair, slide into the ring, and start bashing everyone in sight.  He would continue to smash everyone senseless until someone would start to get up and then he would slide back out of the ring and wait in safety.  Josh would have his character run far away from everyone up the ramp to the entrance of the arena.  In order for the computer to keep everyone in the screen it would zoom out so far that everyone's character was the size of a pea.  If we ran to stop him he would just run back to the ring without fighting, and then once we came back to the ring he would run back to the entrance.  My style was to simply pick the character "Scotty to Hotty", and try to do my favorite move: "The Worm".  This move was ridiculous and it took over a full minute to do.  When ever I started to do this move on a character everyone would rush the ring to whip the snot out of my character and warn me no to try it again.  Once my character slipped back into consciousness, I would do it again.



Eventually someone would accidently trip into a win and pronouce, "I only won because I am better at this game all of you".  This would anger us into another multi-hour long game.

Andrew and Brittany, I enjoyed lunch today.
I love you guys, and I am better at that game than all of you.

James Weighs in in Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I was watching a documentary today about Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

James (my 7 year old son):  "Dad can we watch something else?"
Me:  "No, we are gonna watch this."
James:  "Dad, I don't really like 'Jesus-y' stuff.  It's kinda boring.  'Jesus-y' stuff is amazing, but it can also be boring."

I have to admit, sometimes he has a point.

Cheered up by a big Ole' Buzzard

I had a tough day today, but as I was cleaning the dishes a song came to my mind.  I have not heard this song in over 20 years (WOW!).  My youth director used to sing it (thanks Ray), and I will just accept it as a gift of encouragement from God (or my brain being weird again).



THE LORD'LL PROVIDE
(Larry Reynolds)

Big ol' buzzard sittin' on a fence
Watchin' them chickens play.
He sit with his old friend chicken hawk;
Chicken hawk jump up and say,
"We ought to invite us a chicken home to supper today."

And the buzzard looks at him with a baleful eye,
Take a few seconds 'fore he give a reply;
He turn his neck nearly all away 'round
And he points to the sky and says with a frown,
"The Lord'll provide, the Lord'll provide,
Just be patient, brother and the Lord'll provide.

The chicken hawk said, "But I'm hungry.
My stomach's startin' to rumble like a train."
He spies a fat chicken in the barn yard;
The chicken hawk jump up and scream,
"I hear the lord helps them that helps themselves my friend."

"No, the Lord'll provide, you know the Lord'll provide."
And that's all brother buzzard said, "The Lord'll provide."

Chicken hawk starts to chase the chicken,
Chicken starts squawkin' and run;
The farmer comes out of the farm house;
Farmer got a big shot gun.
The farmer he blows the chicken hawk to Kingdom Come.

And the buzzard looks at him with a baleful eye,
Take a few seconds 'fore he give a reply;
He turn his neck nearly all away 'round
And he looks at the chicken hawk a-layin' on the ground

"I knew the Lord would provide, I knew the Lord would provide."
And that's what brother buzzard said, "The Lord'll provide"

"Yes, the Lord'll provide, children you know the Lord'll provide."
That's what brother buzzard said, "The Lord'll provide."