Serving God with a Diamond Cutter...BANG!

When I was a kid I loved to watch wrestling. This love continued on into my adult life. The last time I watched wrestling regularly was before my son James was born, about 4 years ago. Even now, if I am flipping through the channels I stop sometimes stop and linger a bit at the show. I would probably watch the whole show if my kids were in bed or my wife wouldn't look at me like I was an idiot.

13 years ago i was still very much into wrestling. one of my favorites was diamond Dallas Page, otherwise known as DDP. DDP would beat his opponent senseless and then quickly throw his hands over his head with his thumbs and pointer fingers touching, making a diamond shape. This was his way of telling the crowd he was ready finishing move "the Diamond Cutter". When his hands went up in the shape of the diamond, all of the thousands of people in the arena jumped to their feet, mimicked him by throwing their arms up in the shape of a diamond, and screamed in an amazing unified roar of voices.

Around this same time I had just taken my first job as a youth director. I was only a 3-month rookie. I was with my youth at Summersalt, a summer camp in South Carolina. in between worship times, bible study, and meals we had some free time, and we usually chose to go to the pool. This was a really nice pool with a high dive. A bunch of people were going on the diving board and diving in, and each person diving from the high dive had the undivided attention of the entire pool.

I got in line and slowly made my way to the ladder, then up the ladder, and finally out on the board. I walk to the end of the board and realized it looks a lot higher when you are standing on the board. I looked out over the 50-70 youth in the pool, and I had no choice. The time called for it. I looked at the water, and then I looked again at the youth, and I threw my arms up in the air with my thumbs and my pointer fingers touching, the sign of the "Diamond Cutter". I quickly found that the 50-70 youth in the pool were also wrestling fans as all of their arms shot in the air, and i got a mini version of the scrams DDP received each week.

When DDP threw his arms in the air he was giving a sign of his finishing move. he was saying something special is about to happen. Here I was the heels of my feet on a high dive, my toes hangin off the edge. I had told the large group of youth (without saying a word) that something special is about to happen. I had better deliver. sure a 270 Lb cannonball is cool, but lots of people do cannonballs. I had told them to look at me here comes something special. I only had one choice once I had decided against the cannonball. i bent my knees, bounced once, and jumped hard. My arms and legs went spread eagle, and I dropped 20 feet parallel to the water. The volume of the sickening slap of my 270 Lb belly flop was only second to the cheers in the pool. My intense stinging and beat red wounds subsided, but the sound of that slap lives on in my head. It brings a huge smile to my face.

I am now 13 years older and 10 Lbs heavier. All of the youth in the pool have graduated. Many of them are married, and none of them remember that day. I don't throw up the sign of the "Diamond Cutter" anymore, but maybe I should. Maybe I should throw up my hands and use my thumbs and pointer fingers to make the shape of a diamond warning everyone in sight that something special is about to happen. But when you throw up the sign and step up with only your heels touching the board, you have to deliver.

Being a jerk at church

We had a great moment at youth group this week. It was spring break so only a handful of youth were there, but any student that missed this evening missed something special. Brain Dennison called me and told me of a concert at St. Johns Baptist church.

Brian Dennison, Mary Jane Dennison (holding her 6^th month old) Eliza Hallock, Kate Paul, Matthew Robertson, Heather Phillips, & I went in and found a seat on one of the back rows. We were the only white folks in the room of a few hundred black people. The concert was scheduled to start at 6:00pm but at 6:30 they did not even seem close to starting. Know some stereotypes of Black churches I joked that starting on time doesn’t matter so much when you have no plan for an ending time.

They did start around 6:45, and we were a bit shocked. The MC stared out announcing the first act would be from their mime ministry. Mime ministry? In a black church? It was a bit odd, but cool.

The second act kicked off with a bang. And they never stopped. They had drums, two pianos, an organ, a trumpet player, bass player, guitarist, etc. It was a great evening. It was loud, it was fun, and it was real worship. The easiest way to describe it was to think about the church scene in Blue Brothers (minus John Belushi doing hand springs and back flips).

They had a handful of cameras and two projector screens at the front of the church. During the first song the camera showed a picture of Heather and she got so nervous she could not help but laugh. Most of the room was standing, and clapping, and swaying. I, in comparison, was sitting quietly and would have looked bored had the camera saw me. I was VERY aware of the camera, and would try to sway and smile when it looked like it was pointing near me. I, thank God, never made it on camera.

A woman began to sing a solo with the choir accompanying her. She began singing her song and it was beautiful. Then she decided that the song needed her to hit somewhere in the range of 200 different octaves every five seconds. Everytime she hit a high note, everybody would start screaming and clapping. I, like a good sheep, also clapped even though I am still not sure if I enjoyed it. I could only think about how Simon Cowl would make fun of her if she tries out for American Idol. He would say, (thick British accent) “Honestly dear, do you think that was any good? It was all a bit over the top for me”. Then Paula would tell her how she liked her dress and how pretty she was. Randy would call her "Dogg" and mention something about her pitch being off.

Matthew Robertson teased Brian for clapping on the 2 and 4 count rather than the 1 and 3 count. Brain defended that he likes the 2 and 4 better. I nodded in agreement with whoever was talking at the time. I have no idea which count I was clapping on. I do know however I was clapping on the wrong ones. I finally decided to stare intently on the hands of a very flamboyant woman in the choir and I was mimicking her claps. Unfortunately she got bit excited and began to do a single clap and then a double clap, and never informed me when she would be do a single or a double. So I looked like Steve Martin, from the Jerk, clapping, stomping, and singing the wrong things.

Speaking of sining the wrong things… There was a song where the lead singer would sing “Protect”, and we would sing back to him “Protect”. Then he would sing something else, and we sing None but my Jesus”. We sung and yelled “Protect” and “none but my Jesus” for a while and then the song changed a bit and I could not understand the words. They sang for about 10 minutes with him singing something and the crowd answering something that sounds like “My Car Keys”. I was enjoying singing and it was loud so I just sang along “My car keys” hoping nobody could hear me.

We left at 7:30. They were just getting started, but we had to pick up my children up and the youth had to head home. It was a great night of fellowship, fun, great music, and true worship of Jesus Christ. If you missed it, you missed a very special night.